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Saturday, July 8th, 2006

Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:5:57 pm.
Forever Whispering

Forever whispering
There is no being alone.
Forever whispering.
Boxed in by myself.
Forever whispering.
Numb thyself.
Forever whispering.
Darkness becomes curse.
Forever whispering.
Tears stain silken memories.
Forever whispering.
Laying awake no rest for me.
Whispering
Shouting
Howling
No release
No surenender
I search for strength.
Forever whispering.
I fear soon I will find none.
Soon I will chorus with then.
Pain be gone.
Whisper with me.
"Bleed for us."
Bleed for us.
Let us heal your pain.
Bleed for us
Let us protect you with our rage.
Bleed for us and you will be safe.
Bleed for us.
Bleed for us and feel whole.
Bleed for us.
Bleed for us.
Die with us.
Bleed for us.
There will be peace.
Bleed for us
We shall fall silent.
Bleed for us.
Give in and find Bliss
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006

Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:8:26 pm.
I have been formulating this in my head.
Bits and peices thrown around my mind at 3am.
I do not know if this is going to come out or not.
All I know at this point as that I must try.
The pain of these midnight musings is to much for me.





It has been almost two years since she has gone.
I thought that this would begin to fade.
I thought I would begin to heal.
Maybe I wished I would numb.
I wished I could stop loveing you.
Is that evil of me?
I had never felt something like this before.
Something so potent that it seemed to comsume me.
Still does consume me in many ways.
I thought I had known love before.
But I did not know that love could be something like this.
I was blind to what the possibilities were until I met her.
Emoition that would grow so strong that her absence would be physically painful.
But somehow all needs coud be placated by simply a kiss in passing.
As she lay sleeping kising her softly on the head.
Waling past as she drinks her mornig coffe and kissing her arm and walking off needing nothing more.
How I knew before she came home what kind of day she had at work.
How I seemed to be connected with her.
How we could talk on any given night we could stay awake till 5 in the morning.
I remember those first three nights.
We stayed awake till 5 and then I got you up after an hour an sent you to work.
How when that period was over when she had a day off we slept entngled in each other for almost a day.
how we could meld into one.
I had never found anyone that got me in the way she did.
I never got anyone quite the way I got her.
It has been so long since those moments.
So long since I was hers.
I thought that it would fade be easier to conrtol.
Yet still it is like a caged animal within me.
Sruggleing against bonds I am weakening.
I try so hard not to feel like I have lost myself.
I feel sometimes like I am not whole anymore.
I am no longer in denial about this ever returning.
I know our time is done.
I just wish I understood why this refuses to be laid to rest.
Will I ever be healed of the pains that this causes?
I came to understand how dangerous it is for me to allow myself to love.
I understand now how unhealty I become.
Obsessive over feelings.
Not that I have not come to somewere that where I have let her go.
I do not stalk her or any other woman in my past.
I just find that I love so intensly that it is hazardous to my health.
I becom so engrossed in the feelings that I bein to lose myself.
With her it has become something new.
Like a entity liveing inside me.
Unwilling to be chained.
Unwilling to be caged.
Unwilling to die.
Unwilling even to fade.
So much time has passed and still thoughts of her make me weak.
I spend alot of time alone by my own choice mind you.
I spend time alobe trying to dig within myself to understand.
To lessen the pain that I feel.
I do not understand this part of myself.
I am confussed by what is happening within me.
Terrified that it may never hurt less than it does now.
I understand that our lives were such that it was imposibble for us to be anything more than a moment in time.
Though I still do wish it could be otherwise I have accepted that it cannot be anything but what it has become.
I do not even pretend to understand why the universe would brng us together only for a moment?
Why make something so beautiful only to destroy it.





SIGH
tears can be wiped away but the pain never leaves.
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Saturday, December 3rd, 2005

Posted by:devious_shini.
Time:2:33 pm.
I'm writing a paper on the Globalization of Coffee Houses with emphasis on Starbucks and I was wondering if you'd all be willing to help me out with a little pole? So, here goes:

1: How often do you drink Starbucks?
a: Everyday
b: Once a Week
c: About once a month
d: Isn't that the dude from Moby Dick?

2: Would you consider yourself a Starbucks addict and why?

3: Which is bigger a..?
a: Grande
b: Tall
c: Venti

4: Coffee or Espresso?

5: Which is your favorite coffee drink?
a: Cappuccino
b: Late
c: Americana
d: Frappuccino
e: Mocha
f: other

6: Do you perfer the year round drinks or the seasonal ones?

7: What's a COD?

8: What's a Red Eye?

9: Do you know how many Starbucks are in your area? If not, guess.

10: How many Starbucks are there in the world, do you think?
a: 500
b: 1000
c: 10,000
d: 100,000 or more

11: Do you perfer the cafe experience or buying Frappuccinos for home?

12: Do you brew your own coffee at home, and if yes, is it Starbucks brand coffee?

13: Is there a Starbucks drive-thru near you and if yes, do you use it often?

14: Coffee or tea?

15: What's you're favorite thing to eat at Starbucks?

16: Can you tell the difference between Starbucks coffee and other brands, like Foldgers?

17: Do you like your coffee hot or iced? Does it depend on the season?

18: Can you speak the Starbucks dialect?

19: Do you purchase music from Starbucks?

20: If you could change one thing at Starbucks what would it be?

Thanks so much guys!
o_O Shini
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Wednesday, September 7th, 2005

Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:10:05 pm.
I do not grasp how this is to be done.
I find myself struggleing with how to set this aside.
I know that continueing to love you in this fasion will only end in pain.
I am aware that I must learn a way to not let my love free.
I walked in the rain recently.
The cold drops cooling my fevered flesh.
My whole body burning up with my desire for you.
How am I to find a way to cure a malody that I find most pleasant?
Light headed I swayed in the wind loseing myself in it.
Being carrried away fomr the heat of my obsesion.
each drop hideing another tear.
Out there in nature's embrace I was able to come apart.
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Wednesday, July 20th, 2005

Posted by:jira_riveka.
Time:12:00 am.
is it the way i act
what keeps you awake?
the fear of you being dead
in the end?
is it the way i think
what makes you feel this way
wishing you could be far away
from this eternal insanity?
is it the way i do my hair?
or is it the way my black eyeliner i wear
what keeps you doubting
and searching for an answer
to something that has no way out?
because it just a psyche perplexity
the way things are
the blood on the blade
and the mark on my skin,
a permanent mark,
the venom in your words
the killing of your love
asphyxiating me
and i can't breathe
i can't be me
back on being the doll
inside the cristal box
watched by everyone
and i still hold on
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Saturday, July 16th, 2005

Subject:hello.
Posted by:thepicturebook.
Time:11:25 pm.
Mood: anxious.
im new here and im a big fan of willy wonka from the new charlie and the chocolate factory movie. whatta bout yu ppl?
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Tuesday, July 5th, 2005

Subject:TRIPPY SHYT
Posted by:ladie_b.
Time:3:39 am.
Mood: high.
man all im jus ripped rite now. got to my buddie b's place like at 9:45 to 10:00 pm tonite and my buddie kyle was already wait'n there. so he smoked a couple of doobies w/ me. then b came home and then tyler dropped by and kyle smoked another doobie w/ ty n me. then ty went to work and me n kyle went for a stoner journey to sevie *aka the slushie store :P* n came back. where we were jus kicked back out for what seemed like half an hour *well b said that it has only been 7 or 8 mins. but i dont trust him man he's evil* but ne ways while we were sitting there we smoked two more doobies and a phat bowl. man was i ever recked. :P. ~.~ fuck'n eh man. but yeah then ne ways i started to trip out on this computer. man this computer is slow and it is trippen me rite the fuck out. but yeah ne ways im not much for writing rite now so peace
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Monday, July 4th, 2005

Posted by:red_skirt_jones.
Time:10:35 pm.
first post here; hope you guys like it.

i let you call me "beautiful"
in a sense that BEAUTY is a metaphor;
a skillfully crafted little adage,
the thread
woven between syllables,
the adhesive to bond a broken heart
at any rate i make you believe it
[on some level, i suppose]

i let you call me "beautiful"
willfully believing that the physicality of the phrase
is mute;
soft flesh beneath the fingertips,
no more than a absent-minded musing --
nevermore, nevertheless
[just shut up already]

i let you call me "beautiful"
in thinking that the lingo is so ambiguous,
that i really fooled you this time;
despite previous admonitions
and gender-role traditions
of our succinct human condition
i am not the cleverness you seem to seek
[objection to the obvious relevance]

i let you call me "beautiful"
as i am still perpetually stagnated,
unresponsive and indecisive,
blank between the covers;
frankly, it irks me that
BEAUTY
is the only entity you choose
to mend
to my
name...

i'll let you call me "beautiful"
SO SPEAK...


but only if your purpose is sincere.

==========

i'm really self-conscious about my writing, but i accept criticism openly.

...and just to clarify, i am a walking contradiction ^^

tea is my life substance, [my main squeeze] right now, but coffee is rad too...

glad to be here; rock on
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Tuesday, June 14th, 2005

Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:1:32 pm.
Am I weak?
I lay awake last night pondering this question.
Why is it that I am percievd as weak because I yearn to be held?
Because I yearn to hold?
To entwine my soul with another.
To share intamicy beyond simple pleasure of the flesh.
To share love that trancends this soggy vessel.
Why is it that I am not to shed tears when I taste loss?
Why is it weak to fall apart whne I hurt?
Who are you to judge me anyway?
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Sunday, June 5th, 2005

Posted by:angel_insecure.
Time:11:55 am.
my first cup of coffee in about 4 days....*sighs* heaven...now on to my hard*laughs* day of nothing but cuddling with my bf^.^
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Saturday, June 4th, 2005

Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:6:06 pm.
Mood: uncomfortable.
Today I feel alone.
Today I Feel empty.
Today I feel weak.
Today I thought of you.
Today I searched within.
Today I cried in vain.
Today I lied awake.
Today I did not sleep.
Today I am sad.
Today I sought the truth.
Today I was false.
Today I as ashamed.
Today I was lost.
Today I lost my way.
Today I was in the dark.
Today I sought an end.
Today I marked the day.
Today I struggled to breath
Today I lost need for tomorrow.
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Monday, May 2nd, 2005

Subject:lets see ranting eh? this is my first post
Posted by:angel_insecure.
Time:3:32 am.
hello everyone,
well it's 3 something in the morning and im an hrs drive away from my boyfriend...and i dont have a car. I can't believe it's only been two days it feels like i've been away longer. It's getting sad, im to dependent upon him, yet that's what im use to, being a person of dependence, now im not blaming my b/f cuz it's really about me in this problem it's not like he gave it to me.

the sad thing though is despite how i feel around him...away from his my mind starts to wonder, like i was joking around with a friend up this way that was visiting and i was reading on the bed when out of no where BOOM i get plummeted witha pillow and i look up and there he is grinning, now i've never liked him before in any way except an intresting person to get updates on. But out of the blue when i was looking at him i had the biggest urge to kiss him, i didn't cuz i want to stay faithful to my lovely boyfriend but still...isnt's THAT WRONG?????
i think it is but what i need an outside perspictive, any body care to help?
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005

Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:3:31 am.
The wind could not make its mind up, it came at me, this way and that .....

Carying upon it's gentle caress scents of her. I smile at the rememberance of you.
Then the wind takes your scents away fluttering you this way and that.
I watch a maple leaf thrown into the sky by her gentle scents upon the wind tossed this way and that.
Next to yon leaf.
I see my love tossed this way and that by the wind of your harsh words.
The gentle caress of the wind brings me to a time I was happy with you. your scents, your tastes carried on my friend the wind.
And softly, swiflty as my sister the wind brings you to me she flutters on in her haphazard way and takes all memory of you with her.
She has left me alone to play her game of memory with another unfortunate soul.

Oh how I miss the wind.
Oh how I miss you.
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Sunday, October 24th, 2004

Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:1:44 am.
Mood: blank.
STOP
HALT
CEASE & DESIST
hurting.
bleeding.
crying.
yearning.
wanting.
needing.
hopeing.
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Sunday, September 12th, 2004

Subject:ranttt
Posted by:chiquita__.
Time:1:37 pm.
Mood: cranky.
Come with me
where the breeze hits your face
and where sweet weed is made
look ahead love
see the white doves
the night falls
parties from all over this regime
lets walk side walks, highways, skies,
either way its gonna end
this trip of wonderland
Im to tweeked out
the scene is not whats real
it's surreal
when the lights hit your face and you give out your last breath
the candy no long warms the heart
ecstacy is at fault
this sleaze
this tease
shes out of the game
shes dead to your eyes
but she walks on moving
dancing
to the music that lacks conviction
-anna
wonder
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Friday, August 27th, 2004

Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:7:24 pm.
I have been in love I know what that game is about.
I find it most strange the pain that this obsession has brought me.
I find it strange the lie's we will tell ourselves to believe in love.
Even when that love is gone.
LOST
Before I met you I did not really know what it meant to lose love.
I did not know that something so intense so very real could be lost.
Not simply misplaced.
I know where my love is.
It is not under rock's.
It is not under my bed.
It is not in the drawer with my sock's.
I have not misplaced this Love only to be found again.
I have lost it.
It is gone from me never to return.
Lost in the manner of my innocence.
Lost in the manner of my childhood.
Lost
Lost
I feel so very and completely
LOST

Till I met you I had never felt this way before.
I thought that I had known love.
Perchance I had.
Not this kind of love
Not freely given
Freely recived love.
A love so completely ecompassing as to swallow us whole.
Love that was so overpowering that it was dangerous.
Love that was not about who I could be
But who I am.
Love that was tollerant
Love that was tender and mild
harsh and feirce.
I had never know that I was capable of this love.
Now I ask myself things like
Was what I felt before love?
Was I capable of love then?
Did I betray our love?
Why must something so beautiful die?
Then when we met there was a natural love
An inborn feeling of connection.
It was strange
almost a shared conciousness.
There were times when I would look into your eyes.
what I saw there made me want to be in your eyes for the rest of eternity.
Like I was privy to some special knowledge that no other could ever know.
I may be a simple man with simple pleasure's
But I was never so happy as when I was with you
I was never so free as when I was with you
Now I must say goodbye
I must let you go
Free the my sweet dove.
That it may steal away in the night with my pain.
With a part of who I am.
With who I was when I was with you.
But never my memory of you.
Of us.
Tears stream in the silence of the night.
Silent sobs hidden from the world.
reverie in the stillness of the night.
I think about being in love with you.
As well as loveing you.
I begin to wonder if I will find love again.
I ponder at the fact that I still as yet do not want to find that kind of love again.
I want it to be ours,
I want to share what I am with you still.
I know that I must move on.
That I must not forget.
Never forget.
But that I must learn to live without you.
That I must seek out something else.
That I must let you be you.
That I must be me.
That we must be seperate.
How can I make myself believe that I have not lost the best thing in my life?
How can I make myself believe that I will be ok?
My soul is crying for you in the silence.
Can you hear it?
Do you want to hear it?






I must also thank you.
I must give you my gratitude.
I have learned much from you.
What we shared was amazeing and beautiful.
THANK YOU FOR LOVEING ME.
THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME HOW TO LOVE.
THANK YOU FOR BEING WHO YOU ARE.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
Thank you.








goodbye...
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Tuesday, July 20th, 2004

Subject:story begins.
Posted by:clokverkorange.
Time:4:18 am.
story begins. with words on a page. story begins with boy and girl, and a meeting. and cars mill aimlessly through streets looking for someone to run over. and planes float through the droning sky searching for a spot to crash. and everything is right and proper in the world of adults. no monsters in any closets, no ghosts outside any windows, no red eyes glittering in any dark corners, and no dolls that move when it gets dark and parents have gone to bed.

absolutely no rediculousness.

Tom the Mack and his cronies walk the street preying on innocent whores and roughing people for their cash, but these are not monsters, these are men doing things to men, men doing things to women, taking advantage of other humans. nothing else moves in the night. everything is natural in the world of adults.

story begins.

these ghosts wander the streets, unseen. silent screeches echoing as the confused dead wander beneath the surface of notice or care. no time for the dead i have a meeting, a board, a lunch, a meeting, a conference, a flight to catch, a dinner, a play, a show, and a mortgage. im a big city type and what happens in alleys shouldn't concern me i get paid too much to worry about the sub-surface of life. another dies, and another dies, and another dies, and they all go unnoticed. now the dead are stacked one atop another like firewood. wade through them without even realizing it. who cares they're invisible and intangible. no difference to me either way.

i dont have time to wait for anything. i die a little more each day. i suck the life out of everyone around me. i don't go to church. i dont remember anything. my car costs more than you. my clothes cost more than you.

and suddenly the words stopped, and the music came up, and the lights went down. and we held hands in the dark, and made out like teenagers, and my hand went up your shirt. and in the world of young men and women, everything was just fine.
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

Sunday, May 30th, 2004

Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:8:50 pm.
Mood: sick.
“Who am I?
I ask myself on nights like these,
I find that I do not know.
All my life I have been someone for someone else.
I fear that I no longer have an identity of my own.
Father for some,
lover to others
friend,
counsellor,
all these and so many more.
As I look inside myself,
I find all of these people and more.
People I do not know.
Are these people me?
Well yes,
a piece of me
but I have lost who I truly am.
It's very hard to look in the mirror and not know the man looking back.
So lost, so afraid,
'am I crazy or insane?'
Who am I?
I know how the teenage whore feels
I have in a sense been one myself.
They sell themselves for money,
being someone else for their customers,
Have I not done that my whole life?
The only difference being form of payment...
For them money;
For me love,
acceptance,
friendship.
Oh merciful fate, who am I?
Show me at least a small piece of who I am. Surely, not a whore. Surely you, fate, must know me.
Anger, fear, sadness.. well up inside of me. I flow over with the terrible feeling of being lost. As I wander the streets, I look around at people so secure in who they are.
Oh, how I yearn to know the peace of those blessed people.
As they look at me, they see an image of what it is to be lost – like a small child calling for mother.
If you listen closely, you can hear my soul crying to be found. A single child's voice lost in a storm of voices – so dark, so scared, so alone.
Where is my life, who am I?
Do you know me? Am I you?
I just don't know.
Layer upon layer,
persona after persona,
Still no closer to who I really am.
I stumble,
fall,
get up and run on.
Blind,
cut,
bruised,
hurting...
but afraid to stop searching.
Will I be lost forever?
I ask you,
Who am I, really?
I ask you,
Who do you want me to be?”
Comments: 1 BA BA BA - HIT THE BONGO.

Friday, December 5th, 2003

Subject:My dilemma
Posted by:dallasbouchard.
Time:9:03 pm.
The dilemma that faces me is: what has brought me back after a very long absence?

When I am alone, there's a pain inside of me, an emptiness that causes me physical pain. The feeling of needing to be loved - or even liked - but in reality, not being able to tolerate the presence of anyone in my life.

When I'm with her, all I can think of is 'how do I get this over with faster, so I can get home.'

I hate the world, and the games that it plays with me - and with you.

I guess my question is, "How can I regain my innocence? How can I get rid of the knowledge that all you want to do is fuck me over, just like everybody else? And be a part of your shitty world..."
Comments: 1 BA BA BA - HIT THE BONGO.

Saturday, November 23rd, 2002

Subject:Boredom and caffiene
Posted by:mangojill.
Time:12:50 pm.
Vases of flowers are like a last attempt by civilization to coexist with nature. Eventually the flowers will die, but the vase will shatter and return back to nature.

Oh hooray for being in a fucked-up mood and having a pen and paper around, then finding something totally random to write about nearby. I think I'll go run away now.
Comments: HIT THE BONGO.

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